Thursday, October 21, 2010

Reevaluating my life

Okay, so alot of things have been going on with me lately and I have made a decision that I need to do some reevaluating. I know I am not perfect, but I always strive to be the best person I can be and so I every now and then, I evaluate where my life is going to make sure I am staying on track. I am very goal oriented, and I believe this is part of the reason I do these evaluations. I want to make sure I am remembering my wants and needs. I want to be the happiest I can be, and sometimes when we go through life we lose sight of what we want. So I evaluate.

Alright, I know I dont talk much about my relationship with my boyfriend. But this is what has been bothering me the most.  I would like to start out by making a shout out to Teen Bride, she has been coming to my blog for a few days now. I just want to thank her because I made this decision to reevaluate my relationship after reading her blog and talking to her via comments. So thanks agian! Check out her blog at Teen Bride. She is awesome!

Okay, so my boyfreind and I have a good realtionship but there are things about him that make me wonder. In the interest of time, I will just say that his temper and negativity towards life are the main issues. Before I got with my boyfreind, my goal was to have a guy that was very compatible to me, doesn't drink or smoke, takes care of himself and wants to have the best life he can possibly have. My bf is going through a rut right now after losing his makes him depressed and so he's very negative. He doesn't take care of his body..he stopped working out and he drinks and smokes.

I have tried to ignore his negativity, but I am finding that as time goes on his attitude is getting worse and not better. In turn, that is making me feel sad and not happy because he brings down my mood. I know that I am worth a guy that will try to get his life together. My boyfriend is so lost in his depression that he has stopped trying. In January of 2011 I will have been with him for 3 years...he has been going through this depression for about 1 year and a half.

So to keep this as short a possible. Today I am going to face my boyfreind and tell him that I can't stay with him if he can't get himself together. Its been a long time and I have tried to be his rock and foundation. But enough is enough. I'm not sure where our relationship is headed, but I have to make sure i'm happy always.

Thanks for reading,


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